Diary

A Never Arrive Understanding

Last morning, I have a chat with someone from my past via twitter – not a long chat at all. She was “a nearly fiancé” to me, we know each other at high school, our families acknowledged our relationship, everything were – if I may say – beyond perfect. Well, that was definitely the story until some couple of years ago. I know nothing will last forever in this world, impermanence, but I never though it would only that long – say about four or five years.

It was comes like a great hurricane, unexpectedly swept everything away, and only left nothingness.  And then, there was a strange stillness covered our space and time continuum. We couldn’t make a single move, a single word, if we push ourself to make some, a chaos paradox appeared out of nowhere.

Quite Park RoadBut, this life has its own chapters for us where the future the two of us shall leave the past behind.

Both of us, have learned many things, yet gained nothing. Indeed, that very “nothing” perhaps is everything we need – more that what we used to believe.

If today I see my path that lays in front of me, I see no shadow of her shall be there – by my side. But that is obviously my path, and shall always be my path.

I may never understand why, but the very act to walk sincerely in this path is all the understanding which life has brought upon my days and nights. I have no regret, nor shall thou come to me.

But if you were about asking me, “what hast thou?” – indeed there is thing more precious beyond the understanding that never come to me, nor I shalt seeking for it. The thing that I refer as “greeting the life“, which perhaps shall never come, while we busy demanding ourself to understand the life we walk on.

Storms make oaks take deeper root.” – George Herbert.

You only can live by living, sometimes you need seek no understanding for it, since it may come to you when the time is seeing the necessity of it. If you struggling too much in order to understand your life, it may end up as a never  arrive understanding.

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4 thoughts on “A Never Arrive Understanding

  1. I like the last sentence.
    I think we could not understand life that we face now. But when we passed it and we move one, we really can understand it. And maybe not only understand but accept it. We always learn in our life. If we can not understand today, sure we will understand it tomorrow.

  2. You can only live by living. Ini slh satu prinsip psikoterapi berdsrkan psikologi timur yg skrg udah makin bnyk dterapkan. Kita sll berusaha krs untuk “sembuh”, utk “melupakan”, pdhl smkn berusaha melupakan kita akan smkn teringat. Smkn berusaha memahami, smkn gak paham. Ktk kita justru menjalani semua apa adanya, dgn ketidakpahaman kita, dgn “dia”yg mgkn msh sll membayangi kita…, lama-lama pencerahan itu dtg dgn sendirinya, lama-lama semua ttg dia akan berlalu, dan kita akan mengingatnya dgn perasaan dan pemahaman yg berbeda 🙂 Love this one 🙂

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